Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Staying Positive

After my bad week, I regrouped and things have gotten better.  I'm staying positive and not beating myself up if I'm not perfect.  My journaling is still struggling though.  I have been writing down my food on paper at night, but don't ever get it plugged in on the computer.  I'm sure I'm not remembering everything too.  Why is it so hard to always keep up with the journaling?  I keep telling myself to plan the week, but I just don't ever get to that point.  My workouts continue to stay on track and be awesome, but that darn food gets me every time.  Right now, I'm okay with it because I've been focusing on staying positive.

On Sunday, my husband and I analyzed our monthly budget and this always leads to me getting super stressed, which leads me to crying.  I felt myself getting stressed, but did some deep breathing or took a break when needed.  Finally after a few hours, I went for my run.  It was the best run I've had yet, and I broke my 3 mile run time.  When I got home, no more stress and our night was awesome!  So, I'll take being more positive and feeling happy over agonizing over not journaling.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Roller Coaster

My last week and half has been a huge roller coaster.  Along with many others, my hormones have gotten the best of me.  My emotions have been all over the place.  I would go from being happy, to sad, to so mad at my husband, and then so mad at myself.  I was not putting myself first, like my goal had been this year, and therefore, fell of the wagon.  I didn't journal, which means I didn't even care enough about myself to care what I was eating.  I did make it to the gym, but still couldn't run because of the ice covered streets.  (My neighborhood doesn't believe in snow plows, so we still have ice...so annoying!)  I did yoga, which I love and don't ever want to miss.  I have even done extra yoga here at home.  I tried to meditate more, thinking that would help, but I just couldn't get into it.  So, now I'm trying to figure out how to get back into my nutrition and mental game.  I'm not worried about the fitness because I can't live without that!

I was encouraged by the post from Chris, which I just read, and I'm glad that how I'm feeling is common.  I'm now left trying to figure out if it was really the hormones making me feel the way I did or something more.  Only time will tell!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Making It Happen

     So, our meeting today was awesome and really got me thinking.  I have to figure out why I am such an emotional eater and why I do the things I do.  I had a wonderful childhood with great parents.  I was an athlete, so very fit.  I didn't have to worry about food, but was also given the example of eating healthy.  When I went to college, I stopped playing sports and was very social.  I always joked about getting the "beer belly" and "breadstick butt."  College was such a great part of my life, and I wouldn't change it for the world.  I still have my best friends from college and met my husband then.  I look back now at those pictures when I thought I was so fat and realize that I looked good!
     After college, I focused on my teaching career, my relationship with my now husband, and everyone else.  I'm the type of person who loves to help others.  I kept putting on the weight and then started having kids.  I did loose some weight after having my two boys, which was great.  Then I had the two girls, which brought me back to square one.  So, now that I'm done having kids, I'm really focusing on myself and becoming a healthier person who is a good role model for my kids.
     Before this program started, I already realized that I put everyone else first.  I stay at home with my four kids, my husband travels, and I try to take care of everyone, including my mom and sister.  My dad passed away 9 years ago and since then, I feel responsible to take care of my sister and especially my mom.  I may have something that I need to do, but if they need me, I'm there right away.  So, my responsibilities are pushed back, which stresses me out and leads me to eat unhealthy and not workout.  My husband has really encouraged me to not worry about everyone else and that they will be fine, but I just can't.
     I have started saying NO to people since the beginning of the year, which has been really hard.  I keep saying that it is the year for me and the year for saying NO!  I like to be involved at my boys' school and help, but I've realized that I can't do it all.  I've started telling myself that my kids can survive at Kidz Depot, with a sitter, or with me at the gym while I get my workout in.  I've started saying no to my mom and sister, but that hasn't been easy either.  My sister and I got into a fight this week because she said I don't have time for her anymore, which made me very upset.  We worked it out, but I still don't think she understands what I'm trying to do for myself.
     So, after today's class, I left with many thoughts and was emotional.  I didn't go home and eat though, which is huge!  Instead, I started typing this blog.  I'm very proud of myself for not eating, but I still wonder how I'm going to continue to stay strong and put myself first.  For now, I'm going to just take it one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time!

Saturday, January 22, 2011


My week is continuing to go well, except for the mediatation...sorry Chris!  Thanks to those of you who gave me tips on how to get started.  I will do it.  I got to PR for three classes and yoga, and it was awesome.  After class yesterday, I felt so exhausted though.  I could tell that I needed to eat more, even though I feel like I've done well with my food.  I just focused on calories, not trying too many new things yet.  I will look into different foods slowly, but surely.  I have one more run to do tomorrow, which should go well since I'm taking a break today.  I did realize that I was supposed to turn in something, but I'm not sure exactly what.  Is it just the log with everything checked or more?

I won't be able to make it today because I'm out of town scrapbooking.  I'm sad I can't be there, but very excited to have time to scrapbook with my friends.  Please share any tips or important information with me, and I'll see you next week.  Have a good week!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Doing Good

Well, day 3 is coming to an end, and I'm proud of myself. (for now)  I've been to two great workouts at PR and got my run in outside, which felt great.  My food has been my biggest struggle, which I knew it would be.  I wanted to plan ahead, but was falling asleep at the computer Sunday night and decided to get some sleep.

I've been entering everything on My Fitness Pal, and I love the site.  I used it a little over a year ago, but didn't use it for long.  I'm still at the entering new food stage, so it does take a little longer.  It's interesting to see how I love carbs!  I know what to eat, but actually following through is always a weakness of mine.  I'm hoping to figure out why through this program.

I was supposed to meditate last night, but just didn't.  I've never done meditation, so I'm not sure exactly what to do.  I'm going to try it here in a little bit, once my girls are asleep.  Meditating with them around wouldn't really work:)  I hope everyone else is doing well!  Just remember to take it one day at a time or even one hour at a time.  That's what I'm trying to do!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Figuring it Out

Since Saturday, I've been trying to read the information in the binder we were given, but haven't gotten as far as I would like.  Wouldn't you know that every time I start to read, I'm needed by one of my kids for something.  I even started a set reading time for us this week, but I can't pass up a moment when one of them wants me to just read one of their books to them.  I know that I will get through it before Saturday though!

I love how we were given our workout and how we're given the week to get adjusted to everything before our meeting.  I did also have my first foundation class at PR Fitness, which was great!  It made me remember how good and empowering a workout can be.  I'm looking forward to taking classes there, but a little worried about my girls and sometimes my boys, if I take an evening class.  Everything I do includes my kids and the girls didn't last long being by themselves in the kids' room.  Hopefully they'll do better with more kids to play with, but does anyone have experience with taking their kids to workout with them at PR Fitness and not having an adult to supervise?  My kids are 7, 6, 3, and 2!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

My First Workout

I made it to the gym for the first time this year, and it went well!  I'm sure I'll be sore all over again, but it felt good to get back into working out again.  I was a little disappointed though because my favorite instructor/trainer is officially gone.  I wish her the best of luck, but I have yet to meet someone who can bring such great energy to a workout.  You can't help but to get motivated and work hard when you're around her.  I will miss her, but I'm ready for my next step with the BTWG program.